Deep fakes and allsorts

I’ve been doing a lot of tabletop shooting recently which is something that I enjoy very much. Halfway through shooting one thing I had an inexplicable need for liquorish allsorts, so I put a tactical pause on what I was doing and headed to the convenience store. They didn’t have the original ones so I got a packet of knock offs which I thought would be pretty good as a stunt double. No problem right? They’re all the same?

Ok, taste test. Hmmmm. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be. But they looked so good. So I headed back out, further this time across town. This time I’m going for the real thing. Fool me once.

Back at the ranch now, I open the packet. And I see this.

Of course I see this one first – it’s my favourite. This is the perfect fondant to liquorish ratio, plus it’s a bit coconutty. I’ll shoot it first, and then eat it. That will give me a system. So I shoot it to see what it looks like. Really looks like. Not just recognise it enough that I feel comfortable eating it. I mean LOOK at it. It doesn’t look pristine. But the taste and the texture – the resist, the crumble, the flood of sweetness and the chew is like having a time machine. I’m a small boy again at that time when these became my favourite. It was much easier then. I knew what I was getting. No trickery. 

Except this one.

This one always tricks me. It tastes like betrayal. Each bag I think that I will resist and not eat these but I always do. And it’s always unpleasant to me but I still do it.

These

are only half as good as these

but you knew that.

These next ones I don’t mind – they’re a bit like non player characters. Reliable but not exciting. I could still eat ten in a row and feel good about number ten.

And then somehow we get to the ones left in the bottom of the bag, at least in our house. These will only get eaten at some time past midnight.

So kind of a mixed bag really, some good , a small percentage evil.

Maybe it really does take allsorts.